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Even now, I persist in believing that these black marks on white paper bear the greatest significance, that if I keep writing I might be able to catch the rainbow of consciousness in a jar.

Jeffrey Eugenides


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🦋 **CAUTION**

the automatic CAUTION door swings open and my heart beats faster panicked panting racing down the corridor I know not where


(click through for the dulcet tones
of Dolph Chaney)
I'm headed what I'm fleeing whom I'll see if I look back behind me emptiness of ignorance and fear and pain and nervous sound
the automatic PANIC switch engages and I'm climbing up the walls I'm falling paralyzed and endless should have seen that coming no way back tonight my friend the waterfalls of history are soaking me I'm sweating broken searching for the path to bring me home
the automatic wicked bolt of FEAR slides home and punctures my resolve I'm quaking trembling feverish looking in the mirror what I see is sending waves of manic pity through me tell me truly help me I can't find a hand to hold a charge of hope and love and weary resignation say you'll keep me in my pit of fear and solitude and quavering frustration help me turn toward these scaly walls and understand my history my saving grace my destiny my almost unrequited FEAR

posted morning of Sunday, September 9th, 2012
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Very effective, Jeremy! I can totally feel this.

Here's the lyric to my song linked above, "Automatic Caution Door."

-------------------

through the automatic caution door
I regret the things that aren’t in store
but though I balk, I still must walk
through the automatic caution door.

I confess there’s still a mess inside
where I like to pretend I can hide
from then and now. No matter how
I confess, there’s still a mess inside.

You’ve got my back despite my front
What else did I believe I want?

Lord, I find myself as lost as sheep
as I’m waking up from sickened sleep.
When I needed help, I declared myself
Lord and found myself as lost as sheep.

You hold my face as if it’s nice
and say ‘You’re welcome; there’s no price.’

past the automatic caution door
I remember why I’m here once more
and now I fire me and retire
on the mattress you’ve placed on your floor
past the automatic caution door.

©2004 Dolph Chaney.

posted evening of September 9th, 2012 by Dolph

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