I posted my translation on your Wednesday post.
Yep, I saw that -- thanks -- I am meaning to link to it from a
couple of places. How did you come up with that so quickly? -- or
did you have it lying around from before?
I'm bilingual, so the German wasn't a problem. I find that I'm
tempted to skim things like this unless I force myself to slow down
by translating them.
I tried to keep each line intact, since each line is a sense-unit
in the original. I sometimes had to change the syntax to make the
sequence of sense-units work in English.
It took me about 2 hours of pleasant work.
Well thanks! I liked your translation -- particularly switching
around "x athmet es" to "it animates x" -- the sentence "light
animates the heavens" gives me a strongly different image from "the
heavens breathe light", I think a very useful one.
I'm tempted to skim things like this unless I force myself to
Very good point -- maybe I should think about translating some
English poems into a different language. If only I spoke one!
The "it animates x" is exactly what I was referring to when I
talked about switching the syntax. Glad you like it as much as I
I should point out that I used the manuscript text, not the
published one. That explains some of the differences between my
translation and yours. For example, "am weckenden Tage" is just "im
Tage" in the manuscript version, so I translated it as "in daytime"
instead of something like "in the stimulating daylight".
I like the manuscript layout much better. It presents the argument
neatly, in bite-sized pieces logically laid out. The printed
version feels much more ponderous to me. I'm going top try to see
if I can use this technique (of re-writing in logical units instead
of verse units) with other poetry that looks so dense on the
printed page that my eyes glaze over.
Yeah, I figured you were using the manuscript layout since you had
the line divisions -- I haven't really looked at that layout yet,
I've been spending all my time with the printed copy. When I get
to the bottom of that I'll take a look at the other.