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Me and Sylvia, smiling for the camera (August 2005)

READIN

Jeremy's journal

Personal density is directly proportional to temporal bandwidth.

Kurt Mondaugen


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Sunday, January 28th

🦋 Cottleston Pie

A few takes on Winnie-the-Pooh's classic form.

posted morning of January 28th: Respond
➳ More posts about Poetry

Sunday, November 27th, 2022

🦋 Mistranslation: resolution

One of the first poems I ever translated was "Der Novembertag," by Rainer Maria Rilke. The closing line of the poem has the wind in the chimney sounding out "eines Totenkarmens Schlussoktaven." I mistranslated this as "a death-karma's closing octaves" which has always struck me as a beautiful and enigmatic image...

This morning it occurred to me to mention this in my recently-created Mastodon account; and Mastodon came through! A couple of people suggested the archaic German Totencarmen, meaning "funerary song," obviously the correct interpretation.

    Der Novembertag

Kalter Herbst vermag den Tag zu knebeln,
seine tausend Jubelstimmen schweigen;
hoch vom Domturm wimmern gar so eigen
Sterbeglocken in Novembernebeln.

Auf den nassen Daechern liegt verschlafen
weisses Dunstlicht; und mit kalten Händen
greift der Sturm in des Kamines Wänden
eines Totenkarmens Schlußoktaven.

The November Day

Cold autumn can muzzle the day,
silence its thousand jubilating voices;
from the steeple whimper, so peculiar,
death bells in November's mist.

On the wet rooftops lies sleeping
a white fog; and with cold hands
the storm inside the chimney's walls strikes
a lamentation's closing octaves.

posted morning of November 27th, 2022: Respond
➳ More posts about Rainer Maria Rilke

Thursday, November 11th, 2021

🦋 Dok$ology

Praise G-d, creator without flaws
Praise G-d, all creatures, without pause.
Praise G-d, don't hold back the applause:
Praise Father, Son, and Santa Claus

(or, "Creator, Christ and Santa Claus")

posted morning of November 11th, 2021: Respond
➳ More posts about Projects

Monday, November 8th, 2021

🦋 Higgledy Hamletty

To be or not to be, that is the question, sir:
whether tis nobler to suffer, or not,
the slings and the arrows of outrageous fortune --
to play the hand dealt, or just give up the pot?

posted morning of November 8th, 2021: Respond

Saturday, June 19th, 2021

🦋 Time is the substrate

Imagination and Reality:
Two diaphanous N-membranes
floating in a soup of Time.

posted afternoon of June 19th, 2021: Respond

Tuesday, December first, 2020

🦋 Eden: disobedience, anger, expulsion -- open threads


Bastó un paso para que dejáramos atrás el siniestro, letal mandato del Trueno, atrás quedó el llamado Edén. (p. 47 I§6) [A single step was sufficient for us to leave behind Thunder's sinister, lethal commandment; the place called Eden lay behind us. I am here translating mandato as commandment for the biblical voice of it; other terms that might work are mandate and precinct. I am rendering el llamado Edén as the place called Eden; so-called Eden might be right.]
At the end of Book I of Eve's writings I have some questions. Primarily I am wondering about what commandment Eve and Adam have disobeyed. In Genesis 2:16-17, YHWH explicitly mandates that Adam and Eve may eat fruits of all the trees except his special one. But in this book, Thunder does not talk to Eve and Adam, at least not in clear sentences.

After Eve and Adam eat the fruit, their senses are awakened and they begin to exist in Time. They are aware of their nakedness and have access to language (explicitly connected to being-in-time). When Eve tries to take leaves from the tree to cover her nakedness, the tree angrily refuses to allow her to take them (I§3), because she has disobeyed*. But what did she disobey? I reread the opening sections but find no commandment... Also: why does the tree give Eve its seed (I§6)?

I'm interested in the connection between language and being-in-time, and in what is the nature of this tree, as distinct from the rest of Eden. I will be looking to find out more about Eden in the coming books, though Eve and Adam have left Eden I expect Eve's memory of the expulsion will play an important role.

Eve says "Eden expelled us" (and not "Thunder expelled us from Eden") but then immediately says "It stank of dead animals, all we could do was leave." (p. 46) -- It is Eve and Adam that make the choice to leave. Covering their nakedness and leaving are the first two choices they make once they have begun to exist in Time.

* A neighboring tree, which is presumably the Tree of Life, also refuses her. She is able to take leaves and branches from a third tree, a fig tree.

posted morning of December first, 2020: Respond
➳ More posts about El libro de Eva

Monday, November 30th, 2020

🦋 Thou

If I were translating El Libro de Eva, I would certainly use "thou/thee" and the appropriate conjugations to translate and its verbs. "¡desobediciste!" -> "thou hast disobeyed!", not "you have disobeyed!". (And not "thou disobeyedest", that's just silly)

(In sections written as dialogue between Eve's narrative voice and an unseen interlocutor, "you" would be more appropriate.)

posted afternoon of November 30th, 2020: Respond
➳ More posts about Carmen Boullosa

Sunday, November 15th, 2020

🦋 Translation: skipping over bits

I notice as I'm reading Schnee's translation of Texas that she skips over a clause here and there. For example, "dio muchos detalles y contó otros, hasta dijo que si Nepomuceno era el que había interceptado el correo, le colgó el bandidaje de los robines y quién sabe cuánto más." (p. 21) is translated as "He gave lots of details and made up others, even saying that it was Nepomuceno who had robbed the mail." (p. 7)

Schnee even skips whole paragraphs. In the original, after the section which ends "Agua fuerte saca el puñal." comes

(Dos que anotar cuando el sol refulge en la hoja de metal del puñal de Agua Fuerte: al astro se le ve mejor y al acero parece no pesarle el astro. Parecería que el abrumado firmamento no puede con el peso del coloso; se diría que allá en lo alto está por resquebrajarse el azul, que la bóveda necesita compartir la carga con el velo del polvo terrestre y que el puñal pulido lleva al astro con ligereza.) (p. 25)

[(Two things to make note of, while the sun is shining off the metal sheet of Strong Water's blade: the star appears larger and the steel does not seem weighed down by the star. It would seem the firmament is overwhelmed, that it cannot bear the gargantuan weight; one could say there is a crack in the blue up there, that the vault of the heavens has to share its burden with the earthly cloud of dust and that the polished blade carries the star with ease.)] This word-for-word rendering is poor but gives an approximate sense
The translation skips directly to the next section, beginning "Inside the Smiths' home, lovely Moonbeam gets back to work." (p. 9) It doesn't seem like the missing content is incorporated anywhere else... Not sure what to make of this. Possibly Schnee was working from a different edition than what I'm reading?

posted morning of November 15th, 2020: Respond
➳ More posts about Texas

Thursday, August 6th, 2020

🦋 Jamming with myself

For a long time I've been wanting to get a jam going with the tin-can cello and my Stroh fiddle. The problem is, I can't play them both at the same time.... Multiple tracks to the rescue!

Here is the method I've hit on: I compose a rhythm section in Noteflight, then jam against that with fiddle and cello, recording the instrument I'm playing while the rhythm section is playing in headphones. I use Audacity to mix the instruments and vocals with the rhythm section, so I can hear the cello while playing fiddle or vice versa.

Below the fold, a take on "Jagged Sixpence": pretty good although it falls apart a bit near the end. Needs another take of the cello part for the instrumental break at the end. Should see if some better singer than I would be interested in singing this one (and playing guitar). Maybe Malcolm.

posted afternoon of August 6th, 2020: 2 responses
➳ More posts about Songwriting

Wednesday, May 20th, 2020

busy being born, and busy
dying. Busy
with decisions and revisions
which a minute will reverse. Busy
busy busy
believing foma
and doubting

the strength to force the moment
to its crisis.

posted morning of May 20th, 2020: Respond
➳ More posts about Music

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